Women ALIVE Ministries

–>

In the first article we discussed the complexities and problems involved in initiating and sustaining several of the long distance romantic relationships and marriages that have been proliferated across the globe in our era, especially for people of developing nations. I outlined some useful suggestions of practical steps we can take as preventive as well as curative measures for the multiplicity of depressing situations and relational problems that have characterized these long distance separations.

If you missed the Part I and wish to be on the same page with us in the discussions, you can access the article on MYJOYONLINE.COM with the title of the article, or browse with the link: http://opinion.myjoyonline.com/pages/feature/201110/74064.php.

Overseas travel for people in developing countries
Although many people from developing nations will always want to travel to developed countries where the grass is greener, there are several of the inhabitants who do not mind settling in any locality in any of the other developing nations outside of their own locality where they can get what they desire or need. Sometimes the migration is even focused on larger cities or areas with rich resources (such as mining or farming and industrial areas) where they can obtain higher income. Those who attach fantasy of the classy feeling and air of being elite and modernized by living in Western culture in Europe or North America, for example, will never want to live in another developing nation no matter what you give them (unless circumstances really compel them to do so). If the fiancée or spouse therefore moves from North America or Europe (where the one originally migrated to) to live in, for example, another African, Carribean, Latin American or Asian country outside of the native land, the other partner will be reluctant to follow his or her mate to a place that is not his her cup of tea. It appears that many people from developing countries are now being attracted to some developed Asian countries that look promising and lucrative for industry, business and education. Transactions are less cumbersome for them, and everything seems more affordable and easier to obtain in such places.
I notice that these days many people in developing nations (especially the men with prospects for lucrative business and job opportunities) are becoming less attracted to move out into outside wealthy nations, because they are unable to obtain the needed visa and immigration documents to join their partners, or do not actually want to travel outside their nations and live abroad for any long periods of time. The stresses and struggles plus alienation from familiar customs, native family, friends, insecurity created by too many assumptions without certainty of the success of future plans, and loss of common freedoms, make such moves unattractive. This scenario is presently posing problems for partners residing in foreign nations whose fiancées or spouses still reside in their native countries, who are now in a great fix as to what they should do with their courtships and marriages that are falling apart, since their partners are unable or unwilling to join them abroad.

The roots of the drive and motivation for travel, and migration to other rich countries (or other high class or rich localities in the same country) by people from developing or underdeveloped nations, I believe, can be traced to one or more of these 6 reasons listed below (or a variation of one of them):

1) The hard economic conditions in many developing and poor nations of the world drive people to seek for ?green grass? outside their countries. Sometimes the migration is to another locality in the same nation (or same continent) where they can flourish better. A common notion in the 21st century for many people is that ?when conditions are hard, or if you want faster progress in your life, and you travel outside your country or to another location to tap into the resources in a richer and more developed place, you can always do better, prosper, and ultimately succeed in life.?

2) The quest for better and higher education and training that involves extensive technology is of prime importance to those who wish to learn more and develop 21st century professional skills, and many people therefore travel to acquire such training in other countries or localities.

3) A common factor these days is the reunion of friends and family members, and the sponsoring of such people by those who are privileged to settle in developed places ahead of their loved ones. Spouses and family members travel to join their loved ones, or visit to assist them domestically and in diversities of ways for some time. Friends also travel to secure a job or good position in another country or different place in the same country, and encourage another friend to come over and enjoy the same privileges.

4) A section of people in our communities leave one town to another town in the same country or travel to other countries to temporary or permanently settle outside their original environment because of crisis, tragic occurrences, and destabilization, or even persecution. Most of these moves are impromptu, and can adversely impact a relationship, marriage or family life.

5) There are those who belong to the group that simply looks for fun and adventure, and cannot remain in one location or even on one job or home for any considerable length of time. I will call them social floaters.

6) Some people are experts in their fields, who are officially invited, posted, or recruited to work in other developed nations or sites outside of their normal areas within the same country, or people who work with international organizations that post them to different locations around the world.

Take Precautionary Measures

If you are settled in a marriage with your partner, or deeply involved in a romantic relationship, courtship, or marriage plans with anyone, I strongly advise you to sit together and critically analyze all of these six factors, and honestly agree on the one is the primary reason for the travel or migration of one partner, and which factors are likely to come into the picture after your mate has arrived at the other end. Many travel to enroll in school, then they graduate and want to make some money; then they want more money to acquire property, and finally become engrossed in money-making ventures ad infinitum. I tell you that if you buy a car, you will want to buy or build a house, then be tempted to purchase a ship, and then a private jet, until you wish to start building a city to name it after yourself! There is no end to the gathering of the worldly toys under the sun. The best thing to do is to have a definite wise mutual plan with your mate, cut your coat according to your size, define a purpose in life to fulfill, and accomplish your goals with effectiveness and lasting value without signing up to compete in the ?rat race?. At the end you don?t become a rat and you don?t win any race too!
You must understand and admit that in several cases, either some of these factors were not considered at all in the original plan, or became important to one or both of you after you got separated. There are those who have obligations to assist or ?bless? and ?thank? beloved family members and special friends who have been of much help to them in the past, or even assisted them with the plane tickets and money for the travel, and whom they feel obliged to return favors to, and therefore end up focusing on them rather than their fiancée or spouse after things start progressing at the other end. Some family members and friends are also opportunists who will pester the life of their son, daughter, family member, or friend to move heaven and earth to get them over to where he or she resides in that locality or country, in order to prosper as well. The situation gets worse when the travelled partner loses every respect for the mate or their own family, and then tragically loses the fear of God in him or her, and then becomes immoral, wanton, carefree, delinquent, irresponsible, callous, un-loving, and lighthearted with his or her relationship.

The worst happens when the travelled partner gets into fornication or adultery with another person in that city or country, and communication (which is the blood of the relationship) turns into arguments, cheeks, sauciness, impertinence, fights, and abuses during a brief visit, or over the phone or in e-mails and Facebook or other instant messaging. When communication ceases completely, then you know that the relationship or marriage is woefully shattered and going down the drain. That is when the person starts living more seriously with another lady or gentlemen, have a baby with the one, and then you will hear that he or she is sponsoring someone else in his or her family to come over, and might even sponsor another concubine to join him or her. The obvious and most dreaded ultimately hits you hard and mercilessly — the one tells you that he or she wants a divorce, or wishes to break the promising courtship that had so far moved along sweetly before he or she traveled, and the one consequently slaps you with the grim news that he or she is no more interested in marrying you. Some men exhibit disrespectful and abhorrent bravado by actually perform official marriage rites with another lady, before they even tell their female fiancée or wife that they wish to sever relationships with her.

Plan to maintain the romantic fire of your long distance relationship

There should be definite plans to keep your relationship alive, active, interesting, and pleasurable during your time of separation. A few suggestions are as follows:

1) Depend entirely upon the power of God as your first line of protection and primary source of power and provision to supply all of your needs and keep you, your partner, children, your marriage, fiancée, or relationship.

2) Both of you must seriously make communication your number one foundation as well as the primary material to keep your relationship intact and flourishing. Communication is always the blood of all relationships. Thoughtfully plan to engage in frequent conversation by visits (at weekends or monthly etc. if possible), phone calls, e-mail, post cards, letters, or other means. Hearing each other?s voice is a great balm. Do not call only when there is a need or complaint. Apart from the emergency calls, and calls to report special problems, solutions, and needs, learn the art of spontaneous phone conversation about common things of life and especially what is mutual. Be a good listener. Listening attentively is a very important part of excellent communication and conversation.

3) Avoid being forceful, controlling, and argumentative. Remember that you are not together physically to see each other?s face and predict how the other one is taking what you are saying. The husband or male fiancée in particular should be the strong leader who does not misuse his manly qualities and privileges to yell at the fragile lady partner, but must demonstrate real strength and wisdom by gently, patiently, and wisely resolving difficult issues. The man must exhibit good leadership by diffusing tension during conversation, engage in conflict management, and successfully steer general discussions. The lady must learn to control her words and temper, as well as control of financial demands and cravings for attention.

4) Engage in regular prayers. The power of any corporate prayer is dependent upon the power and preparation of the individuals participating in the prayer. If your partner has backslidden, has a different belief, or does not like to pray with you, do not force him or her to do so, but ask for wisdom from God to be truly loving and tactful, as you look for opportunities to say short prayers for him or her. As you pray for your difficult partner, and handle him or her with love, patience, forgiveness, and gentleness, you can throw in very short sentences of prayer at appropriate times that would touch and bless the one, until God breaks through with your secret sincere prayers. Remember that prayer is the best communication, because it is communication with God. If prayer becomes established, then mutually make your commitment, obedience, devotion, and prayers very strong in the romantic relationship, courtship, or marriage. Establish also the condition of never parting on the phone without some form of prayer as closure. Prayer has worked wonders for my wife Henrietta and I in our 29 years of marriage, and we can assure you that sincere prayer of faith will work for you as well.

5) Meditation on scripture is a sure way of cleansing our souls, giving us assurances based on God?s promises, setting us straight, awakening our dead conscience and making us think, plan, speak, walk, and operate in God?s light and in the Spirit. Scripture will always bring God?s Spirit into your life and into all of your relationships with people. True prayer that is based on scripture will also diffuse all anger, competition, envy, resentment, arrogance, pride, arguments, selfishness, quarrels, fear, anxiety, worry, doubts, suspicions, and discouragement.

6) Make use of other available avenues of communication such as personal greetings and passing of information through trusted friends and family members.

7) Decide to be romantic and loving in all of your communication and interactive opportunities. Remember you are dealing with a lover who is starved of physical contact and visible affection from you. Know the differences between men and women and what invokes love and affection in the other partner.

Forgive very quickly and don?t delay to say sorry when the other partner is (or feels) offended. Even if you don?t see why he or she should be offended by ?that little thing?, or if you think it is ?meaningless offence?, you must still apologize (respecting his or her point of view), for the fellowship to continue flowing. Do your best to desist from repeating offences and continuing to say sorry all the time. Such habit will damage your integrity and thereby erode any trust, suggesting that you are faking repentance and character change to merely deceive your partner and get your way in order to obtain what you selfishly want to obtain in the relationship.

9) Be very honest in everything you say, without giving room for doubts, mistrust, fear, and anxiety or worry regarding your loyalty. Let your ?yes? be ?yes?, and your ?no? be ?no?. Beware of secret plans in the absence of your partner. Beware of lies or half-truths. If the complete truth later gets to your partner, that is a disaster for the trust and confidence between the two of you.

10) Beware of pleasing or putting first your family members and friends before your spouse. Let every family member and friend know clearly that your wife or husband comes first, even when the two of you are temporarily separated. Do your best to discuss and mutually agree on the disbursement and distribution of things to family members and friends before you do so.

10) Avoid close relationships with old boyfriends and girlfriends in the absence of your mate, especially if you indulged in immoral acts with them in the past. Old fires can be easily re-kindled, and they can easily lead you astray into sin and unfaithfulness, and ultimately ruin your marriage or courtship.

11) Have a firm control over late night parties, club meetings, late night visits that cause you to come home very late, or visits with opposite sex where you are alone with another man (if you are the wife), or another woman (if you are the husband). Far-away partners will frequently be disturbed and will have fear, anxiety, mistrust, and doubt sown in their minds if they regularly hear the voice of an opposite sex with you in conversation or with you in your room (or if you are often in the room of such strangers), during a phone call to your abode or location, or if people begin to give such reports of your questionable activities to your mate. Sometimes the one is a genuine study mate for academic activity, or close business partner etc., but things must be clearly communicated, and trust must be built in order to avoid all suspicions. To prevent any doubts, I suggest that you discuss any such necessary frequent interactions with your mate, provide all the necessary information, and set everybody?s heart and mind at peace. If the person interacting with you is decent and principled, he or she might also be concerned about how your husband, wife, or fiancee would take it at a distant location if he or she gets to know of the close association with you. We know that some partners are unduly possessive, and suffer from chronic extreme jealousy. In that case much prayer, wisdom, exhibition of due affection, rich conversation, provision of adequate information of your motives and movements, and planning of your interactions, will enable life to go on peacefully. Usually you might feel that your partner is ?getting on your nerves, and is too controlling?, and so you arrogantly, discouragingly, or fearfully try to hide your interactions with others in his or her absence, which rather give you future deeper problems of suspicion and distrust when your partners later discovers your activities.

12) Develop a good sense of humour along with your chats; and let your sense of humor be alive as needed, but avoid sarcasm and mockery that leaves your partner feeling stupid on the phone or feels degraded after reading your letter or e-mail. Throw in appropriate jokes and laughter frequently in conversation. Take time to study and know your partner well, and be conversant with the things that will make him or her sad, cry, anxious, worried, fretful, happy, laugh, silent, or open up.

13) Balance photographs with communication. Men are creatures of the eye, and will love to see monthly meaningful photos from any woman. The lady fiancee or wife (and children) should therefore send him good pictures that carry messages of love, affection, progress in his absence, and general interactions. It is even easier now if you have computers or cell phones at both ends for transmission of electronic pictures. Women are creatures of the ear, and could always be nurtured and kept romantically alive with rich conversation and affection on phone etc.

14) Little gifts with meaning, properly thought of and exchanged from time to time, will also keep your long distance relationship alive.

15) Arrange for your partner to be cared for in some good, mature, and sincere hands. Several people have often made special arrangements with particular trusted family members, elders, friends, pastors, men and women of God, and responsible colleagues at work, church, or school, and in their neighborhoods, to keep in constant touch with their spouses or fiancées in their absence. Most of these caretakers do a good job (although some casualties sometimes result from careless or selfish handling of the people entrusted to them). I consider this as a wise move that should be properly, strategically, and officially made before the other partner travels. If that was not initially done, it could still be arranged at some point while the partner is away. It may not work in some cases because of human pride that would not admit or ask for assistance, and especially when the mate does not trust people due to past bad experiences. The partner that was left behind (or the traveler) might not also want any formal assistance in order to maintain his or her privacy in the relationship, or would not want it to appear as if someone was monitoring him or her.

Whatever your circumstances, explore and exploit all available resources and opportunities that will enable you to maintain the best relationship with your partner, while you leave no stone unturned to do the best with what you have. Cultivate the unflinching determination and firm resolution to be faithful till the end in your God-given courtship or marriage relationship, and aim at pursuing the singular vision of a very fruitful and successful family life that should constitute an enduring and a glowing legacy for several generations in the annals of history. May the Lord be your helper!

Obtain more detailed information on this topic from Dr. Kisseadoo?s Book ?Challenges Of Modern Men And women In Relationships?. Tune in to JOY 99.7 FM in Accra, Ghana on Saturdays at 5:30 am ? 6:00 am (Ghana Time) or US Eastern ST 12:30am ? 1:00am Mid-October to March) and listen to Dr. Kisseadoos broadcast Hope For Your Family. Access on the Internet using MYJOYONLINE.COM, and click on ?Live Radio?. Obtain Dr. Kisseadoo?s books online from: RedLeadBooks.com or Amazon.com using his name. His book ?Facing And Fighting Through The Storm? launched in June 2011 narrates the amazing encouraging testimony of God?s miraculous deliverance healing experience of Dr. Kisseadoo in 2009. Contact him in the USA (1-757-7289330) for copies of all of his 14 books, free counseling and prayer. Visit his website: www.fruitfulministriesint.com for essentials that will enrich your relationships and ministry. Call 233-20-8209567 or 233-276-322982 in Accra or 233-264-650261 in Kumasi for message CD?s, books, free counseling, prayer, and seminars. Use DrSamuel Kisseadoo to access his Wall on Facebook. Copyright Nov. 2011 Rev. Dr. Samuel A. Kisseadoo (Professor of Biology, USA. International Evangelist. Ordained Licensed Minister. Teacher, Author, Conference Speaker). Founder and President, Fruitful Ministries International Inc. (Evangelistic Teaching Ministry). 6 Red Robin Turn, Hampton, Virginia 23669, USA. Tel.1- 757-728933 E-mail: kisseadoo@msn.com

Social networking sites, email and SMSes are increasingly becoming popular choices for people to end their romantic relationships, a new study has revealed. Market researchers Lab42 asked 550 people above the age of 18 about the impact of social networking on their relationships.

Its a common issue in romantic relationships in college, where one partner is ready to move forward faster than the other. His or her opposite number, wary of committing too soon, but enjoying the benefits of such a relationship, plays along for a while. The other, afraid of pushing a relationship his or her counterpart may not want, agrees to try the friends with benefits route. Although they both get some of what they want, eventually the relationship falls apart amid bitterness and resentment.

Similarly, Europe has spent half a century on a project of integration, only to find that some of its participants are not ready to do what it takes to see the project through to its logical conclusion. The governments of Europe do not seem interested in a true relationship with one another based on trust, cooperation, and a shared destiny. Rather, they are acting like nation-states with benefits – at one moment fully embracing the idea of a common Europe, and then retreating to the safety of parochialism when Europes unity necessitates real sacrifices.

There are understandable reasons for this vacillation. A common Europe was always a dream more of European governments than citizens, who view Brussels as a faceless, invasive bureaucracy. The decision to join the EU and then the Eurozone was long and contentious for governments beholden to their voters. The tension between democratic governance, economic integration, and national sovereignty is, after all, the classic trilemma of international political economics.

Granted, Europe has always integrated in fits and starts. And for good reason: it is an unprecedented project of voluntary transnational integration. But while there are good reasons to proceed with caution, the current crisis emphasizes the need for greater and swifter political integration if the euro – and with it, common Europe – is to survive.

The newest plan includes many of the measures suggested by economists: a more robust bailout fund, an agreement with banks to reduce Greeces debt burden, and a plan to recapitalize Eurozone banks. But few have made an issue of the fact that there is effectively no Eurozone government. The European Commission is the executive branch for the EU, which includes ten non-euro countries. Even there, the Commission cannot enforce laws currently on the books, such as the Stability and Growth Pact that could have prevented Greece from reaching such a point. When Greeces crisis came to a head, there was no European government with the capacity to act decisively.

Europes economic potential without political unity is holding Europe back from playing its role in an increasingly multipolar world. According to the IMF, in 2009 the euro accounted for 37% of foreign exchange market turnover, 31% of all international bond issues, and 28% of the foreign exchange reserves made public by central banks. As UC Berkeley economist Barry Eichengreen notes, it is second only to the dollar on all these dimensions of international currenciness. However, it remains a distant second largely because investors and states are wary of becoming too reliant on a currency not backed by a government.

As Greece shows, this level of economic integration is downright dangerous without comparable levels of political harmonization. The question is no longer what measures should be taken, but if Europes leaders have the stomach for greater political integration at a time when nationalist impulses are at a peak.

Helmut Schmidt, the 92 year old former chancellor of West Germany and a chief architect of the project of European integration, said as much in a speech on October 19. Mr. Schmidt praised Europes common economic institution, the European Central Bank from his wheelchair before delivering a harsh admonition of the political bodies and leaders: The ECB, led by [Jean-Claude] Trichet, is the only body that has proved itself to be capable of action and effective during the financial and sovereign debt crisis … What we have, in fact, is a crisis of the ability of the European Unions political bodies to act. This glaring weakness of action is a much greater threat to the future of Europe than the excessive debt levels of individual euro area countries.

If Europes leaders do not want to be part of a common Europe (and there are plenty of good arguments for that point of view) they should admit so and work to extricate themselves from an increasingly complicated Eurozone. Instead, Europes leaders say with one breath that they want to maintain the union, and with the next refuse to make the tough decisions it would take to do so. Uncertainty of the Eurozones future as a currency union terrifies investors – as evidenced by their skittishness about continuing to prop up Italy and other heavily indebted countries.

However, if Europe is serious about maintaining its influence in the world, the continents leadership must look beyond the Greek crisis and begin rewriting the treaties that bind them together. Europes aging population means that the continents comparative advantage will be in its unity and size. As Mr. Schmidt put it, anyone who considers his own nation more important than common Europe is acting against the fundamental strategic interest of their own country not to become marginalized in the global arena.

This situation of being nation-states with benefits, rather than truly sovereign states able to pursue independent interests, or a true union of states capable of jointly addressing existential issues will put the European Union in historys wastebasket of commendable, but ultimately failed, ideas and institutions. Europes leaders should stop leading themselves and their citizens on with this fanciful idea of a relationship that does not require shared sacrifice.

Teachers should avoid having romantic relationships with their students since it is a violation of professional ethic codes, Minister of Education Wu Ching-ji said yesterday. It is a general belief that, because of the unequal power relationship between instructors and their students, the two parties should not engage in romantic relationships, said Wu yesterday during a legislative session.

For the benefit of both sides, a pupil should be transferred from the teachers class once such relationship occurs, Wu added.

Such prohibition on romances between faculties and students in campuses are quite common in foreign countries, Wu said.

Similar regulations can be found in education institutions in the United States and the United Kingdom, he added.

In UK, for instance, many colleges have stipulated that once a teacher is found having an affair with his or her students, the situation needs to be reported to the dean and the student in question has to be transferred to another class.

The rule also applies to affairs between faculty who has direct supervisory responsibilities for a graduate student, the minister added.

Wu made the comments amid a newspaper report that the Ministry of Education (MOE) had recently asked local schools from primary, secondary and higher education levels to officially ban teacher-student love affairs.

Those teachers who violate the rule could be fired as a punishment, said in the Chinese-language United Daily news report yesterday.

In response, Wu said that such ban only applies to schools on primary and secondary levels. The MOE has prohibited such relationships for students under the age of 18.

But for college and university students above 18, the MOEs suggestion is that such romantic affairs should be avoided, he said.

However, ruling Kuomintang lawmaker Yang Chiung-ying asked Wu how the MOE could impose such ban on adult undergraduate and graduate students who are all adults and old enough to make own judgments.

In return, Wu said he would ask each universities to set up its rule and would suggest the school authorities to step in once such situations are found in campus.

Education more important than prohibition

Meanwhile, The National Teachers Association yesterday said proper education is more important than simply imposing a ban on teacher-student love affairs.

NTA Secretary-General Wu Chung-tai told reporters that many students at one time could mistakenly believe he or she has fallen in love with their teachers because of admiration at a young age.

The MOE should offer proper education instead of using an official rule to curb such behavior, he noted.

Heres one more reason to think twice about seeing the latest Twilight installment, Breaking Dawn, not that box office numbers suggest that many people have really thought twice about going. Its not just that the film is a terrible one, or that it has some of the most horrific visions of sexual development and romantic relationships weve ever seen aimed at teen girls.

No, it is that the movie is reportedly causing seizures in some viewers. The explanation, which goes hand in hand with some Breaking Dawn spoilers, is below.

So, as you likely already know, Breaking Dawn features a horrific birth sequence. Or a comic one, I suppose, depending on how you look at these sort of things.

Advantage for older children: Older boys and girls who like to hang out together find the party can continue in a healthy way. Tweens and teens can learn how to responsibly interact while being honest with parents about their whereabouts.

Advantage for younger children: Children see that the opposite sex is not just for dating (a benefit for older children as well); boys and girls can enjoy the same innocent party games and develop trust and friendship, important qualities in developing romantic relationships as they grow into the teen years.

Disadvantages: Lets face it. Older boys and girls sleeping in close proximity could make for an uncomfortable situation or worse. Younger children might develop a casual attitude about sleeping with a friend of the opposite sex later on.

Pro or con ? the decision is totally yours. You know your child best!

Tip from the parenting trenches: If a too-young sibling wants to have a sleepover party like an older brother or sister, invite friends to wear pajamas to a party that ends before bedtime. Get into the swing of it by slipping on your favorite pjs while hosting.

A new study purports to answer the burning question of why women fake orgasms: its to keep a man faithful, of course.

According to a paper published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior (via Business Insider), psychologists studied 453 women in heterosexual romantic relationships. They asked the women whether theyd ever faked an orgasm with their current partner, and how worried they were that their partner had or would cheat on them. They also asked the women how frequently theyd performed 104 different mate retention acts in the last month, from innocent behaviors like Dressed nicely to maintain my partners interest to the more confrontational Yelled at a woman who looked at my partner. They found that women who had faked an orgasm (nearly 54% of the sample) were more likely to be afraid of their partner cheating, and also more likely to engage in mate retention activities. Farnaz Kaighobadi and his co-authors write,

The results of this research support the hypothesis that pretending orgasm may be a form of mate retention performed by women to prevent a partners infidelity or defection from the relationship. Women who perceived higher risk of partner infidelity were more likely to have pretended orgasm during copulation with their partner. Furthermore, women who were more likely to have pretended orgasm reported engaging more frequently in all five categories of mate retention. Thus, womens perceptions of partner infidelity risk may be an underlying variable that causes both pretending orgasm and increased performance of mate retention.

The authors cite a number of limitations, including the fact that dispositional traits may account for some of the variance in pretending orgasm for instance, maybe women who tend to feel insecure in relationships are also more likely to fake climax. One limitation they dont cite is the fact that their mate retention framework was developed by David Buss, an evolutionary psychologist par excellence whos made a career saying things like mens genes program them to seek many mates and try to monopolize the reproductive lives of those mates and explaining that orgasms could promote emotional bonding with a high-quality male or they could serve as a signal that women are highly sexually satisfied, and hence unlikely to seek sex with other men. What those orgasms are saying is ‘Im extremely loyal, so you should invest in me and my children. Kaighobadi and co-authors work is informed, to some degree, by evo-psych ideas of woman-as-man-catcher: they write, the results indicated that women who perceived higher risk of partner infidelity may pretend orgasm to manipulate their partners commitment. That doesnt mean their research is useless infidelity fear could be one reason why women feel the need to pretend theyre getting off. Still, its wise to take with a grain of salt anything that comes from the Evo Psych School of Explaining Orgasms.

Why Do Women Fake Orgasms? [Business Insider]

Image via Steve Collender/Shutterstock.com

Peter Sollett, Anne Hathaway Teaming For Romantic Comedy

Could Be The Project ‘Cover Your Assets’

Peter Sollett is in talks to direct an untitled romantic comedy at Lionsgate with Anne Hathaway in the starring role. In the very vague logline, which sounds a little like it has a typo, Hathaway would play a career woman looking to break her streak of losing romantic relationships to her job. This truly, honestly does not sound like any romantic comedy we’ve ever heard before! Anne Hathaway, breaking the mold! We’re a little disappointed Hathaway would go in this direction, especially after The Dark Knight Rises, where she’ll probably be playing the fourth or fifth lead in a Boy’s Club Adventure Movie. It could be the similar sounding project Cover Your Assets which is about a high-powered female lawyer used to intimidating the opposite sex, who pretends to be an assistant in order to attract a man.

The untitled script is from Kay Cannon, a veteran of 30 Rock who also sold the script Pitch Perfect to Universal with Anna Kendrick in the starring role, a movie that already sounds more exciting than this. The bulletproof Hathaway, who walked away from the disaster that was One Day the way Ice Cube walked away from that one fireball in XxX: State Of The Union, has not yet taken the role, though it’s expected once someone from Lionsgate bakes her some flan, she’ll sign on the dotted line.

This pretty much ends the relationship between Sollett and Marvel, at least for now, as he was originally tabbed to direct The Runaways for the renegade studio. However, writer Drew Pearce recently claimed the project was at a standstill, and that none of the involved parties really knew when it could get moving again.

Gabe Toro posted to Actresses, Anne Hathaway, Directors, Peter Sollett, Films, Super Hero Films, The Runaways at 5:20pm on September 9, 2011 | Permalink | Comments(4)

HIGH POINT, NC, Oct. 14, 2011 – Dr. Sadie Leder, assistant professor of psychology and assistant director of High Point Universitys Survey Research Center, was named a staff writer for an online magazine on the psychological study of close relationships, called Science of Relationships.

The aim of the Science of Relationships website is to present prominent research findings from the fields of psychology, sociology, communication and evolutionary biology in a format that is engaging and fun for all readers. Writers for the website are relationship experts who have received doctorate degrees and are active researchers in the field of relationships science.

As a writer for the site, Leder has published a number of articles, including The Attractiveness Stereotype and Barneys Crazy-Hot Scale, A Little Too Good to Be True: Deceptive Tactics in Dating, and Redbox and the Most Romantic City in the United States.

Leder instructs a class at HPU called Close Relationships, which considers a humans need for love compared to their fear of rejection, and a first year seminar titled Love and Hate in Cyberspace, which takes a close look at the trend of online dating. Both classes require students to consider complex psychological phenomena as well as read and discuss research findings in national journals. Supplementing these courses with articles from the Science of Relationships website helps make theories more relevant and relatable to students, says Leder.

I feel fortunate to be able to showcase not only my own research, but prominent findings within the field of close relationship in such a unique and significant forum. This site makes it possible to share our work with a much larger audience, challenging them to critically consider relationship science as it applies to their own lives, says Leder. People are inundated with opinion-based relationship advice from the internet, books and television. This site acts as a rebuttal, basing all information on scholarly work and empirical findings, but in a very straightforward and entertaining fashion.

The articles published by Science of Relationships receive international coverage. Leders recent post, Aww Sookie, Sookie, Now! True (Blood) Love from a Gain-Loss Perspective became a readers favorite after receiving more than 1,000 views during the first day of its release. Dr. Leders articles can be read by visiting http://www.scienceofrelationships.com/.

At High Point University, every student receives an extraordinary education in an inspiring environment with caring people. HPU, located in the Piedmont Triad region of North Carolina, is a liberal arts institution with over 4,200 undergraduate and graduate students from 51 countries and 46 states at campuses in High Point and Winston-Salem. It is ranked by US News and World Report at No. 3 among Regional Colleges in the South. Forbes.com ranks HPU in the top 7 percent among Americas Best Colleges. Parade Magazine lists HPU in the top 25 private schools in the nation. HPU was selected in the 2010-2011 list of Colleges of Distinction, as well as one of the top green schools in the country by the Sierra Club. The university offers 50 undergraduate majors, 43 undergraduate minors and 10 graduate degree programs. It is accredited by the Commission of Colleges of the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools, and is a member of the NCAA, Division I and the Big South Conference. Visit High Point University on the Web at highpoint.edu.

Relationships Can Be Found at Any Age According to Dating Site, Soamoro
Romantic Relationships know no age according to recent findings from Soamoro, the free dating website. Since launching, membership amongst seniors looking for love in their twilight years has skyrocketed.